This Week

Waking up this morning it suddenly hit me the enormous amount of work I have to do. But it's all good. I'd rather be busy moving around than sitting still bored to death. Being under stress makes me work harder, as weird as that might sound. The yard sale is in T-minus five days. It's beginning to take on a life of its own. So many amazing people have rallied around to make this experience the best ever. God is in complete control of everything and I cannot wait to see what He does this Saturday. We've even had someone offer a carnival-like popcorn machine to sell popcorn to customers. So many people want to be a part of this, to see Shanon and Benji realize their dream of being parents. It's an awesome thing to watch. I also have a ton of schoolwork to get through and I still need to conquer Livetext. I still don't understand why hard copies are unacceptable, but thankfully I have found someone who will help me through this process. I was beginning to feel a little overwhelmed, but the mother of a friend of mine has graciously offered her expert services. Now I just have to get through the longest day ever tomorrow and a presentation I don't quite understand on Thursday and I'll be home free. 

The yard sale is quickly approaching!

A little over a week until the Adoption Yard Sale and there's so much to do. I've never had to organize something like this before and it's a little overwhelming. I'm hoping the organization skills I've spent years developing will come in handy. My anal retentiveness has to be good for something, right? I continue to be blown away by all of the support we've gotten already. There are so many people wanting to donate things and even just show up to help. They'll never know how much this means to our family. I know Benji and Shanon have been completely humbled by all of this. Never in their wildest dreams did they imagine the outpour of support they would be given. This yard sale is a pleasure to do for them. They're family. We look out for our own. I've been lucky enough to watch this whole process and it's been amazing to see how God is crafting it all together. It's one of those things you can just see the Lord's hand on the whole thing. I am very excited for Benji and Shanon. They are going to be amazing parents and I can't wait to meet the new addition to our family.

 

A New President

We have a new President today. I just watched Barack Obama being sworn in as the 44th President of the United States. It almost seems unreal watching the moment unfold in front of me. It was only roughly 60 years ago that African Americans were fighting for equality in the public school system. Now we have a black man as the highest-ranking government official in this country. And while I don't agree with his politics and I didn't actually vote for him, I still recognize the huge step in equal opportunity this creates. Now when mothers of every race tell their children, "You can be whatever you want to be," they can truly mean it. I really hope this is a positive step this country is taking. We're in a time of crisis right now and we need a strong, capable leader to step up and do the job right. I hope that despite all of our differences of opinion, President Obama can pull us together as one nation under God. I just don't understand all the fanfare. We've elected Presidents forty-three times before in this country and not one of them has received as much press coverage as the one who was just sworn into office. Obama has become this huge celebrity and that scares me a bit. Can this country really afford to have someone with such celebrity status as our leader? Celebrities are supposed to be the plastic, shallow, liberal people who live in Hollywood. They're not supposed to be Senators or Presidents. Obama's face is everywhere. On t-shirts, magazine covers. You can't watch a newscast without seeing his face. It just seems to be too much for someone who is only human. He can't walk on water, he didn't find the cure for cancer. He's fallible. He's capable of making mistakes. He'll probably make a few during his Presidency. I just pray that he's turning to the Lord. That he will put running this country in God's hands and that when he says "God bless America," he truly means it.

Let it Snow, Let it Snow, Let it Snow

So the entire city is gearing up for a possible snow day tomorrow. But let's face reality for just a minute. How many times have we been hopeful for a snow day only to have it fall just beyond our reach? We live in the South, people. Snow doesn't make it down to these parts very often. Which is why, though it seems a little excessive, the entire city is waiting with anticipation for the first snowfall in a year. It snowed briefly last winter, but the flakes didn't even stick. Okay, so we get a little excited when we see the snow fall, but we're not used to it. So call us crazy, but we're going to continue to anticipate snow days as long as there's a chance.

To getting my hands dirty...

I'm having one of those nights where I want to be anywhere but here. I wish I could pinpoint to an exact circumstance, but I can't. It's everything in my life, really. I think I'm slowly going crazy. School is...well, overwhelming. I have an incredible amount of work to do and very little time to get it all done in. That plus the fact that I'm plagued with chronic procrastination means everything will come out jumbled. Then there's work. My jobs are fairly under control. That's not the problem. The problem is there are two of them and that means very little "me-time". And then  there's everything else. Friends sucking the life out of me, brothers frustrating me, boys confusing me, and technology playing tricks on me. It can take a toll on a person. Tonight I'm to the point where I just want to fast-forward to next May and move on to the next phase of my life. Far, far, far away from here. Because I really think Augusta has done all it can for me. And the best of me is lying somewhere out there. I just have to find it. I know I'd be leaving a lot behind. My family, for one. My family is what has held me here for so long. If I wasn't so attached to my mom, I would have left the city limits a long time ago. I don't want them to feel like my exodus has anything to do with them. It doesn't. My breaking out of here is about me and that's it. I feel like I'm constantly having to give pieces of myself away. I have all these people coming to me with their issues and it's sucking the life out of me. I want to do something one-hundred percent for myself, without thinking about what other people would think about it. I know that sounds incredibly selfish, but I really think I deserve one moment of selfishness. Ugh. Who knows. I could feel completely different in a few months. I just don't want to sit still anymore. I feel like I'm stuck in this pit and I'm aching to get out. It's time to step out on blind faith and know that God has this amazing plan for my life. And if I fall flat on my face, so what? Life is about living and learning. You have to make mistakes to find something that works. And, if the Lord allows me to, that's what my plan is to do. To make mistakes, to get my hands dirty, to do what I've been called to do. It's a new year, after all. 

Two of my favorite people in the whole world

Untitled

"Some boast in chariots, some in horses, but we will boast in the name of the Lord, our God."

Psalm 20:7

Because in today's society, we put too much emphasis on the things of the world. When we stop depending on ourselves and start putting all of our trust in the Lord, that's what real faith is all about.

Answered Prayers

Today has been one of those days I can literally see God answering prayers. Some days I find myself scratching my head, wondering what God is doing, but today I can see things falling into place. First and foremost, my mother got released from the hospital. She had a brief stay after a surgery on her finger. It might seem a little extreme, a four-day hospital stay over an infected finger, but it was more because the antibiotics the doctor prescribed were very aggressive and only available via an IV. This morning, Justin and I got to take her home, on Justin's 22nd birthday of all days. Then my brother got good news regarding his school. He had to take the semester off from school last year after his diabetes diagnosis. The doctors wanted to make sure he could adjust to his new lifestyle without the added pressures of college. As Justin was trying to register for classes for this semester, some of the financial aide stuff got messed up and he was thinking he wasn't going to have money to go to school. But, thankfully, the financial aide came through today and he can resume classes Monday. And then there's me. I got some bad news regarding school in November and ended up having to file an appeal for admittance into the Teacher Education program. This afternoon I got the call that made me breathe a little easier. My appeal was approved and I am one step closer to graduating. I had myself convinced it wasn't going to happen, but it did. My job hours will shift a little and some things will have to change, but those are small prices to pay to finish with school. I just have to go tomorrow to complete the process and I am ready to start class Wednesday. It's such a neat thing to watch everything unfold so nicely. My family has seen our fair share of bad luck this year and it's a breath of relief to see the tide begin to turn. And I know that is only because the Lord is good and He watches over His flock. Even when I go kicking and screaming, I know God's will for my life is greater than anything I could have planned on my own. Now that school is getting squared away and Mom is on her way to recovery, 2009 can really begin and I look forward to what it has in store.

Mom's Finger

Hospital Stay

It's not like I don't know and understand all the risks that come with diabetes. Believe me, if there was ever a family more attune to diabetes, it would be mine. It's safe to say we have endured our fair share of medical drama this year. Now I'm writing this after a sleepless night at the hospital. It seems weird, all this fuss over a little finger, but I guess it's just a precaution. Diabetics always run the risk of loss of limb. They wanted to make sure they got the infection out and put her on some aggressive antibiotics before they let her go. Nights like last night bring the diabetes reality to the harsh light. My mom and grandmother have both had Type 1 diabetes for my entire life. Diabetes has just always been part of my life. It's as normal as breathing in my house. I know more about diabetes than I ever cared to. Then my little brother got diagnosed just a few months ago. It seems like diabetes has taken up residence in my family. I guess it could be worse. It's not like it's cancer or something like that. Diabetes is serious, but it's controllable. My mom and Mema and Justin are all living fairly normal lives. They only have to watch what they eat and drink a little more carefully than the rest of us. I don't know if whoever is reading this knows a lot about diabetes, but it's a disease that affects every organ in your body. Circulation is always a big problem. Wounds don't heal as fast as they should and blood doesn't circulate to the limbs like it should. That's why my mom's finger issue was a big deal. When the doctor did the surgery last night, the infection had spread into her joint. If it had gotten any worse, the possibility that she would lose her finger was there. It's because of her diabetes they admitted her into the hospital. The antibiotics they're using are a little more aggressive than normal. I'm just glad they are taking such good care of her. As soon as we can get through this, we'll put 2008's medical issues behind us and focus on having a better 2009.

Wishes on Stars

So I saw a shooting star tonight. How fitting that it's New Years Day. I've never put much stock in wishing on shooting stars, but I figured: what could it hurt? It's kind of a hopeful thing, making wishes on stars. Even if your wish doesn't come true, at least making the wish gives you hope. And sometimes hope is all we really need to make it through the day.